Excuses, excuses

I have plenty of excuses for why I stopped posting to my blog in March. I was sick after our spring break trip to Ireland. I had finals to take and to grade. I had my thesis to write and rewrite and rewrite again. I had to find an apartment in NYC. I had to pack my fabulous South Campus apartment. I graduated. I moved. I needed to find a job. Oh and of course I needed to plan my wedding - I GOT ENGAGED to my long long long term boyfriend Connor!!! But now that is all behind me (aside from actually getting married). Thesis is done and yahoooooo - I got an A! Grad school is all done, I'm back in NYC, gainfully employed and the wedding plans are coming along so easily it makes me wonder why all those crazy girls are on "Bridezilla." So I am going to do my best to start blogging again but instead of just posting articles, it will be more like this, train of thought musings on TV, movies, and plays.

I am so thrilled to be back in New York with this amazing arts scene. Of course the summer is a weak time for TV (aside from "Rescue me," but that's a separate entry). Instead we've been keeping busy watching movies taped to the DVR (we got two this time - one for each room - I think it may be the key to a happy marriage). This past week we went to see "Spring Awakening" down at the Altantic Theater is Chelsea. In a few weeks is "7 Guitars." Every week I read the New Yorker and circle all the exhibits, plays, movies etc. that I want to see. We're even trying to work in some dance performances for me.

Anyway, I'm going to watch the first season of "Rescue Me" so I have all the background before I criticize it (and there is plenty to criticize). It's about 100 degrees out and I don't intend to move from the couch except to get italian ices from the freezer.

ABC show bombs with overdramatic relationships

"What About Brian" tries to be a male version of "Grey's Anatomy," but fails because it focuses on a male character as the lead role. The other characters are unsympathetic, the dialogue is forced and the dramatic scenes are predictable.

The reason everyone is asking about Brian (Barry Watson) is because he's single. At 34. Heaven forbid. Brian decides he's in love with his best friend Adam's (Matt Davis) fiancée Marjorie (Sarah Lancaster). Brian's sister Nic (Rosanna Arquette) is trying to have a baby with her Italian hubby. And Brian's business partner Dave (Rick Gomez) is married with kids to Deena, a stay-at-home mom. Everyone wants Brian to get married so he is no longer the seventh wheel, even though all of these couples are unhappy.

Having a male character as the focus of a show about relationships doesn't work, and there is no appeal in watching a 34-year-old man acting like a neurotic teenage boy. No wonder he's single when he can't even break up with the girl he only started dating two weeks earlier. If the audience had a reason to accept Brian's reluctance to mature, he might be more likeable, but two episodes in, he merely seems pathetic.

Brian's friends aren't much better. Brian and Adam make a juvenile pact to break up with their girlfriends. Instead, Adam decides to propose the day after he dumped Marjorie because "she was stellar. She was like a guy. She was stoic." Sounds like a good reason to get married, especially since Marjorie kisses Brian while Adam is away. Deena suggests an open marriage to Dave, who is the best character on the show. He is devastated by the idea and spirals downward into self-doubt and jealousy. Why exactly he doesn't tell his wife of 13 years he doesn't like the idea isn't made clear.

The dialogue is overdramatic and unrealistic. After kissing Marjorie, Brian dramatically asks Dave, "Do you ever have a day where you question every decision you've ever made in your life?" Just as gravely, Dave answers him, "Yeah. Every day."

Deena justifies her desire to sleep with a yoga instructor by telling Dave, "It's about us giving each other a gift. Gift of an adventure. Without lying. Without losing each other."

Brian is always put into predictable situations that are boring to watch. While showering at a girl's apartment, her roommate walks in, thinking he is her roommate. Rather than tell her he's in the shower, he awkwardly fumbles when she asks for her razor. In another scene, he drives to Las Vegas to tell Marjorie he has feelings for her. When he comes to his senses, which apparently didn't happen during the five-hour drive, she sees him.

With all the self-created drama, it is no wonder these characters are so miserable. Aside from the character of Dave, the problems facing the rest of the characters are ones they brought on themselves. This doesn't create sympathy, it's annoying and whiny.

Crime drama guilty of seedy soap opera focus

From DO: 4/7/06

The biggest problem with "Conviction" is that it isn't "Law & Order."

Dick Wolf brings a large and loyal fan base, who will be sorely disappointed in the show if they want to play detective, follow cases from beginning to end and hear the famous transitional music. Without the law and order, "Conviction" is just a soap opera about young assistant district attorneys. Call it "Desperate ADAs."

Nick Potter (Jordan Bridges), a rich prep with family connections, leaves behind the cushy corporate law for the life of a public servant. He shares an office with Jessica Rossi (Milena Govich). She is having a no-strings sexual fling with her supervisor, Deputy District Attorney Jim Steele (Anson Mount), but he still has feelings for Bureau Chief Alexandra Cabot (Stephanie March), who reprises her role from "Law & Order: SVU." Brian Peluso (Eric Balfour) is a hard-drinking gambler with a soft spot for Christina Finn (Julianne Nicholson), the fragile, sensitive mid-Westerner, and Billy Desmond (J. August Richards) is the most competitive assistant district attorney with a perfect record that he is determined to keep.

The show deals primarily with the personal lives of these characters. Who they are prosecuting takes a backseat to who they are sleeping with. Glimpses of the trials are given, but with so many lawyers, there are about four cases an episode. By the time it's clear who is trying which case, the judge has ruled. It's hard to develop sympathy for lawyers who are more concerned with boosting their win records than caring about the victims.

Any fan of "SVU" knows that Cabot entered the witness protection program after a drug dealer tried to have her killed. No explanation for her return has been offered, and the show presents her character as if she never left. She is also overly concerned with pleasing her bosses on the dreaded "eighth floor," instead of what is right, making a formerly favorite character unlikable.

But even if "Conviction" is looked at separately from the "Law & Order" legacy, it fails to stand up as a good show. The characters are preachy and arrogant, and the dialogue is pretty dismal. When Peluso is threatened by his bookie because he can't get a gun charge against his brother dropped, he confronts him the men's room of a seedy bar."Do you see this?" Peluso asks while shoving his ADA badge in his face.

"It says DA. That's what I am, bitch. I can bury you, your brother, your mother, whenever I want. Whenever I get bored. Don't you ever forget that."

Instead of showing the young lawyers at clubs, at parties and in yoga class, they should be spending more time interviewing witnesses, working with detectives and preparing their prosecution. Every tidbit of personal info given on "L&O" seems like a treat because they are given out so sparingly. "Conviction" is a case of too much information.

College grads clash with the real world on predictable Fox sitcoms

From the DO: 3/31/06

Two mid-season replacement sitcoms on Fox address the biggest fears faced by new college graduates. On "Free Ride," the recent grad has no plan for his future so he moves back home with his parents, and "The Loop" deals with trying to balance job responsibility while still partying like a bleary-eyed senior. Both shows are full of clichéd characters and predictable scenarios, but lack any laughs.

In "Free Ride," Nate (Josh Dean) has no idea what he wants to do after getting his degree, so he moves back to Missouri to live with his parents. He begrudgingly befriends David Lee Roth clone Mark Dove (Dave Sheridan) and develops a fast crush on Amber (Erin Cahill), a bank teller he knew in high school who is now engaged.

There is plenty of predictable motivation for Nate to pull together a plan to move out of Missouri. His parents, who changed the lock on the front door, argue all the time when they aren't having the sex night their marriage therapist recommends. Nate's room has been converted into a home gym, so he needs to sleep on an air mattress in the garage. His only friend in town is known as "the guy who chugged motor oil." Yet Nate is drawn to Amber and wants to stay in town until she gets married. His father, angry that Nate turned down a job offer, tries to convince him that "a crappy job is the foundation of a good life."

"That job was a part of my major, and I'm not that majorly into it anymore," Nate says. "The good news is that I know what I don't want to do."

Sam (Bret Harrison), the hero on "The Loop," has the opposite problem. Hired as an airline executive right out of college based on his thesis, he is passionate about his job. But he also wants to go out drinking with his three roommates: his stoner brother Sully, ditzy bartender Lizzy and long-time crush Piper. His nighttime antics with his friends often threaten his daytime responsibilities at the airline.

The characters are one-dimensional. Sully plays almost the same irritating role that Dove does on "Free Ride." He is immature, lazy and constantly plays pranks on his younger brother. Piper is clueless about Sam's feelings for her and continues to date her blind spot, as an unnecessary graphic tells the audience while the word "douche" is sung. At work, Sam faces a sexually harassing female executive, Meryl (Mimi Rogers), and a boss who constantly threatens to fire him. When Sam must decide between a work obligation and meeting the girl he's dating at the airport, he tells his roommates he has decided to go for the girl.

"I'm gonna risk getting fired because I don't want to be 24, buried in work and putting my job above everything else in my life," he says.

Job security should actually be a concern, because a quick cancellation is as predictable as the two programs.